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Sassy Cliches Quips and Comebacks for Teenagers

July 13, 2013

Sassy, funny and cheeky quips, cliches and comebacks for teenagers

Worn, old and overused cliches are turned around by great comedians and famous personalities. Use them as comebacks in any social setting.

“If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten” – George Carlin “I was walking down the street. something caught my eye, and dragged it fifteen feet.” – Emo Philips “A day without sunshine is like, you know… night.” – Steve Martin
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“Do unto others, then run” – Benny Hill “The early bird gets the worm. I’d rather sleep in and have toaster muffins.” – Shirley Lipner “Blood may be thicker than water, but it is still sticky, unpleasant and generally nauseating.” – Janeane Garofalo
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“My father wore the pants in the family – at least, after the court order.” – Verona Chapman “My mother always says “Keep your chin up”. That’s how I ran into the door.” – Daryl Hogue
“People who live in glasshouses might as well answer the door” – Morey Amsterdam
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“Hard work pays off in the end, but laziness pays off now.” – Al Lubel “Two heads are better than one, unless you’re cleaning them.” – Craig Sharf “I wear my heart on my sleeve. I wear my liver on my pant leg.” – Steven Wright
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“The cost of living is going up, and the chance of living is going down” – Flip Wilson “There’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s a train.” – Margaret Smith “If life gives you lemons, make some sort of fruity juice.” – Conan O’Brien
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“If life was fair, Elvis would be live, and all the impersonators would be dead.” – Johnny Carson “You can’t have everything. Where would you put it?” – Steven Wright “The meek shall inherit the earth. They won’t have the nerve to refuse it.” – Jackie Vernon
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“Blank minds think alike.” – Tony Invergo
“A fool and his money were lucky to get together in the first place.” – Harry Anderson “If money can’t buy happiness, then I guess I’ll have to rent it.” – Weird Al Yankovic
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“You are what you eat. Which makes me cheap, quick and easy.” – Dave Thomas
“My granddad used to say, If everybody liked the same thing, they’d all be after your grandma.” – Gary Muledeer “If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.” – George Carlin