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Short, Snappy and Funny Comebacks For Teenagers

July 20, 2013

Short and snappy (and sometimes insulting) comebacks to use

  • Guess the screwed up fairy’s visiting again.
  • I like you. You were like me when I was a kid – a douchebag.
  • How about never? Is that good enough?
  • I’ll try to be nicer if you try to be smarter.
  • Any connections between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
  • What am I? Flypaper for freaks?
  • I’m not rude, you’re just insignificant.
  • You’re validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
  • I’ll never forget a face but in your case, I’ll make an exception.
  • You’ve got two brain cells, one’s in a wheelchair, the other’s pushing.
  • I like your approach, now let me see your departure.
  • Thanks, we’re all refreshed by your exceptional talent.
  • I’m just visualizing that tape around your mouth now.
  • I see you’ve set sometime aside to humiliate yourself in public.
  • People would follow him anywhere…..but only out of morbid curiosity.
  • Words fail me.
  • You sound reasonable, time to up the medication.
  • Don’t say anything, the snark’s just getting old.
  • I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message.
  • You must have gotten up on the wrong side of the cage this morning.
  • You possess a mind not merely twisted, but actually sprained.
  • You remind me of the ocean – you make me sick.
  • You should do some soul-searching. Maybe you’ll find one.
  • You really are as pretty as a picture. I know I’d love to hang you.
  • This is an excellent time for you to become a missing person.
  • If we killed everybody who hates you, it wouldn’t be murder – it would be an apocalypse!
  • You! Off my planet!

More snappy comebacks for all occasions

  • You should have been born in the Dark Ages, you look terrible in the light.
  • You should toss out more of your funny remarks, that’s all they’re good for.
  • You started at the bottom – and it’s been downhill ever since.
  • I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce.
  • I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.
  • I will always cherish my initial misconceptions about you.
  • It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
  • If I throw a stick, will you leave?
  • It’s a thankless job, but I’ve got a lot of Karma to burn off.
  • Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
  • Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed.
  • Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
  • Why don’t you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma.
  • You used to be arrogant and obnoxious. Now you are just the opposite. You are obnoxious and arrogant.
  • I could say nice things about you, but I would rather tell the truth.
  • I know I’m talking like an idiot. I have to, otherwise, you wouldn’t understand me.
  • A sharp tongue does not mean you have a keen mind.